In 17 days I will be en route to a different continent, start a new career, find a place to live, and drag 100 lbs of my life down La Plaza Mayor in Madrid. Why 100 lbs? Because British Airways only allows you to check in 50lbs a suitcase. AHHHH, I know – sacrilegious!! They obviously do not know of my extensive shoe collection.
You may wonder why I have waited this long to document how I feel on the 19th day prior to my departure. Well, everyone, this is why… Today is my second to last day that I will no longer be a public servant… yeah that is right people. I use to work for the Government. As I packed the items in my cubical (AKA “my box”) I realized that this risk/ gamble/ Dream is soon going to be my reality. SO YES, I AM FREAKING OUT!!!!
As I make a mental note of all the things I have to do figure out – my bank account, packing for a year, 401k’s and lesson plans – you can only imagine that my brain is working over time. Not to mention the serious case of insomnia that I am encountering.
Everyone tries to console me by saying ” Dont be nervous!!!”, ” I am so excited for you!” (which I love), but my all time annoying one is ” You are going to meet someone”. Please don’t misinterpret. I am happy and grateful that I have people around me that wish me well. With that said…. If I hear one more person say that I am going to meet someone, I am going to be forced to smack them. I mean that with lots of love. The truth is I am not moving 4,998 miles away from everything I know to have some rendezvous.
Now all I can do is breath and remind myself that I was an active pariticpate and even though it is not going to be easy or as romantic as everyone thinks it may seem. It will be an experiance that I will never forget. Like my new found friend, Cristina, who is already in Spain has said, “you are not the First and you will not be the last” So all I can do as I lay my head to rest is dream of the day I get settled in my new home of Madrid sitting outside and drinking my sangria. Then I will Laugh out loud how I was losing beauty sleep for nothing…